Always There
by JonesIantoJones
Summary: Jack reflects on life with Ianto now he's gone. Tissue Warning - Please Review x


**AN: The fact that I am in tears as I write this does not bode well. Please have tissues on hand. Listen to "Daniel Boys – Always There" if you can whilst you read. If not, I'm sure you can imagine the beautiful song. More from me at the end…**

Jack was sat in his leather chair looking out the floor length window overlooking the sprawling Cardiff Bay, and out into the sea beyond. He'd revolved the chair around so he had his back to his desk, and in his left hand he held a short glass of amber liquid, partially drunk. A sombre expression covered his face, his eyes were red tinged and his cheeks damp from tears. Today had been worse than he ever imagined it would be, and he'd had plenty of time to think about it. He sighed as he downed the rest of the drink and turned a little to drop the empty glass back onto the desk behind him. He glanced down at his right hand, and the pristine cream envelope that was in it, his name written simply on the front in unmistakable handwriting. He couldn't open it yet - it was too soon. Instead he allowed his mind to drift back to happier times. Their wedding – that had been the best day of his long life. He allowed a small smile to play on his lips as he thought back to their first dance, and the look of utter love and devotion on Ianto's face as they'd swayed gently to the music. They'd been oblivious to the fact there was anyone else in the room, in the world at that moment apart from them. Jack let his mind wander further, as the music from that moment filtered into his mind, emotions running over as he realised that Ianto was no longer there for him. Not now, when he needed him the most.

When I'm less than I should be

When I just can't face the day

When darkness falls around me

And I just can't find my way

When my eyes don't clearly see

And I stumble through it all

You I lean upon, you keep me strong

And you rise me when I fall

You are there when I most need you

You are there so constantly

You come shining through, you always do

You are always there for me

When life brings me to my knees

When my back's against the wall

You are standing there right with me

Just to keep me standing tall

Though a burden I may be

You don't weary you don't rest

You are reaching out to carry me

And I know I'm heaven blessed

You are there when I most need you

You are there so constantly

You come shining through, you always do

You are always there for me

You are there when I most need you

You are there so constantly

You come shining through, you always do

You are always there for me

You are there when I most need you

You are there so constantly

You come shining through, you always do

You are always there for me

Fresh tears began to seep from Jack's eyes as the memory faded. That day and that dance had been sixty-two years ago and he and Ianto had lived an amazingly full life since then, a life together longer than they ever imagined they'd get. It wasn't until a few years ago that they'd realised that their days together were drawing to a close. Ianto got sick, and Jack's world fell apart. As soon as the specialist said the words "Inoperable Cancer" Jack felt his heart shatter. Ianto was too old and too frail to receive treatment. Jack had stayed strong for him as the disease took hold and slowly but surely reduced him to a shell of the man he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Jack had held his hand through the long final week of his life, all the way through to the end. All the way till those final moments when Ianto had opened his eyes for the last time. "Top drawer of your desk. I love you Cariad." Closing his eyes his breathing had become shallower, and then faded as Jack had replied "I love you too."

That had been a week ago, and Jack had just returned home from the funeral. Bringing his hand up to his neck he loosened the sombre black tie he'd worn. When he'd got home he'd gone to his desk and opened the drawer, finding the letter Ianto had left him. He had no idea when he'd put it there. It couldn't have been that long ago, but during his final weeks he'd been bed-ridden. Then again Ianto always had been remarkable. With a deep and nervous breath he opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.

"My Darling Jack,

You were and always will be the love of my life.

You were always there for me, and I will always be with you, all the days of your life.

Don't cry Cariad,

I love you, and I am right there with you,

Eternally yours,

Ianto."

Jack broke down once more. He didn't know what he was ever going to do without him.

**AN2: I am sorry for making you all cry, but at least he got his happy ending before he died. I know I promised to never kill him again, but this has been in my head for a week now, so I just had to write it. A better death than he ever received in Torchwood I think.  
Please review – and I really am sorry x**


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